Customer Service
by Lis123
Summary: Jasper has never had it easy with love/relationships. Can a mysterious customer change that for him?
1. Chapter 1

My life if you could call it that was definitely lacking. I had a low paying job as a cashier at a gas station that was pumping with business and owned by a company that treated its employees like shit. I had literally no social life or game and I was still in the process of getting over a terrible break up that happened basically a year ago.

Yup, life was just fucking peachy.

* * *

I rolled my eyes and shook my head rereading the conversation I had with an ex fling again, if you could call him that. Emmett was his name. He was more of a rebound I guess you would say. I was lonely after my bad breakup and basically hooked up with him a month after my heartbreak.

Emmett wasn't a bad guy but he wasn't necessarily a good guy either. He used me for sex after all but in a sense I guess I used him too, for companionship in our short time together.

Emmett was a big guy, with dark brown hair and eyes. He came off very friendly and overly affectionate but also very stubborn and set in his ways. He was the opposite of me and very social. In fact, too social, he never had time to hang out with his friends much less me. I was just a fuck to him, nothing more and nothing less.

He contacted me the other night acting like he missed me; it had been months since we last spoke. Months since he banned me from ever calling him again. He said I was annoying and acted like I wasted his time when really he just wasted my time and I called him out on it, he didn't like that. He told me to delete his number and basically shut off all communication with me for months.

I just wanted companionship/affection. I wanted to be wanted for more than my body and it's uses. I wanted someone to want me for me. I thought maybe he could be that guy to fix my broken heart or to at least make me forget my troubles for a little awhile and make me **FEEL** again.

He texted me the other night acting like it had only been days since we last spoke. He was his same friendly, flirty self. He said he wanted to be "friends."

Yeah, I knew what his definition of friendship was…fuck buddies. He had some nerve. I admit I had been lonely lately and had I not been thinking with a clear head I might have consider it. However, my needs and wants never changed. I still wanted, still need the same thing I needed before and it wasn't sex.

It was clear he couldn't give me what I wanted, or at least he wasn't willing too. I told him it wouldn't work and we should keep us in the past. He of course got annoyed acted like a little kid that couldn't get his way and that was the end of that.

* * *

I looked myself over in the mirror as I put my light brown ear length hair into a small pony tail and fixed my name tag on my shirt, I ran a hand over my stubble cheeks, sighing before leaving my apartment on my way to hellish work.

My best friend's words rang in my head, _"Jasper you have to be more social. If you don't put yourself out there you'll never find anyone."_

"Alice, don't you think I know that? It's not easy for me. You know I don't have many friends and it's hard for me to just open up to people. Look what happened the last time, I got my heart broken. It still hurts Alice."

Alice was my good friend, my best friend. Hell you could even argue she was my only friend. I had no real outside friends. Alice and I were online friends and had been friends for years now. We have been there for each other through much heartbreak over the years.

I was usually fine being single. I was used to being single, I had been single most my life, that was until he came into my world.

I was with Jacob for two and a half years; he was my first real boyfriend. It wasn't great but it had its moments. I would find myself thinking of him late at night when I was alone in my dark room and all was quiet and still, too quiet for my liking.

Jacob cheated on me…with his wife.

It was a long story but I had often thought something wasn't right between us, that he was hiding something from me, that he was cheating, but I had no proof and I loved him and was lonely so I stayed in my misery.

"Are you cheating on me?" I asked often, with my heart pounding in my chest awaiting his answer.

He kept his cold brown eyes on mine the whole time.

" No." He would say flatly as if annoyed I would still ask him the same question, yet again.

I thought I would feel relieved with his answer but I never did. I never felt secure and content but I accepted his response time and time again.

It wasn't all bad; we had some beautiful bonding moments. We would lay still and just stare in each other's eyes contently. We would vent and talk about our days as we cuddled up against each other. He would tell me I was the best part of his week and I always got an enthusiastic reaction from him when I touched him. It didn't take much for him to moan and roll his eyes in the back of his head, for him to look at me with such desire that I fooled myself thinking I was the **ONLY ONE** that could make him react in such a way, that I was the only one that made him react in such a way.

It made me cringe thinking of some of the bullshit talks we had.

"You belong to me, your ass, your dick, everything, your all mine." I said as we were intimate.

"Yes, I belong to you." He moaned in pleasure.

 **LIES!**

He couldn't even tell me he cheated or was married; he couldn't even be honest with me even in the end.

 **FUCKING COWARD!**

I had to find out from his fucking wife, that he was a c heating bastard, over the phone. The worst part is I could hear him talking in the background.

I never heard from him again. He vanished like a fucking ghost. I don't know if his wife left him or stayed but I gather from all the dirt she got from me about her precious Husband, she left his ass.

I even went as far as to send her a picture of me and him as a couple and told her to tell Jacob he had a week to pick up his sex toys or I was throwing them out.

That's right, Jacob was a freak! He had a whole bag of dildos and other vibrating toys he liked to have me use on him from time to time. Bet his wife choked on that message.

* * *

I opened the doors to work and headed to my register getting set up.

I didn't care much for the customers. At my job we had a lot of weridos/bums that walked in the door. People with holes in their shirts and grease on their hands, grabbing cigarettes and beer like it was air. It was quite unappealing.

There was this one guy that came in the store that I had a crush on. He was a tall, average built guy with creamy soft skin. He had short dark brown hair and a clean cut, masculine face. His eyes were a piercing green color. He often wore scrubs to our place which I loved. I didn't know what it was but there was something about a guy in uniform that was so appealing. I talked to him a few times as I rang him up before. I found out he was a tech and worked in a lab on blood work. He was very friendly and had a cute smile. I don't know why but it always put me in a better mood when I saw him, even though our encounters where always brief.

The only thing was that it seemed like he drank a lot. I mean he was practically a regular customer and every time he came in he always got the same thing, two 4packs of Hurricane beer.

I guess I shouldn't jump to conclusions but I didn't like guys that smoke or drank. However, I rather a guy drink a little than one that smoked and as far as I knew he didn't smoke so that was good.

Anyways, I was telling Alice about this guy when I realized I didn't even know his name.

Alice is always telling me to break out of my shell and that I should get to know people. I made a deal with her. I told her the next time I see him, I would ask his name. it wasn't a big step but it was a step.

I gulped nervously as I saw him enter the store, he smiled when he saw me. I couldn't help but grin back.

"Hello, how are you today?" I said as I always did like a robot.

"Hey, I'm doing okay. How about you?" he asked.

"I'm fine." I lied. I focused on ringing up his damn beer again. I tried hard not to judge him as a drunk but it was a hard thing to do when all he ever purchased was indeed beer.

I thought of ways to ask his name but I was drawing a blank.

"Well, have a nice day." I said handing his beer over. He gave me one last smile.

"Thanks, you too." Before heading on his way.

 **Damn it!**

 **Why can't I just do a simple task of asking someone their name?**

 **I'm fucking hopeless!**

 **Oh well, he is probably married, taken, straight or uninterested.**

 **Fuck, I'll probably will be alone forever.**

 **Maybe I should just take Emmett up on his friends with benefits deal?**

 **Fuck, what's wrong with me?**

* * *

 **Note:** Feels weird, yet nice being back. This might be a one chapter story or I might continue it. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks again for reading! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

It was another long and tiring day at work. I waited nervously and excitedly for 9pm to roll around, for my crush to walk into the door of my workplace and bring some light into my life if only for a few minutes. I took some customers and stocked cigarettes while I waited. I glanced at the doors every so often, not wanting to miss my time to talk to him.

Like clockwork 9p.m. roll up and the door opened to reveal his beautiful form. I lite up inside. He came to my register with green scrubs today, enhancing his eye color. I smiled as he came up to my register. He gave a small smile back with beer in hand. I knew him so well, yet not at all at the same time.

"Hey, how was work?" I said as I rung up his beer.

He let out a stressed sigh, "Tiring."

I stole a glance at him, he looked worn out, and he had little wrinkles under his eyes as if he didn't get much sleep. I was glued to his every action as he ran a hand through his brown strands, giving them a little squeeze before removing his hand and giving me a weak smile.

"How much do I owe you?"

"Umm, $4.23." I said a little taken off guard.

 **Shit, I hope he didn't catch me staring at him.**

I waited patiently as he searched his wallet for his money. I took the chance to try and have a conversation with him.

" Long day at work?"

"More like a long week." He confessed.

"Really, why, what happened?" I asked intrigued and a bit nosy.

"Well, besides work being long and tiring, my friend's decided to set me up on a blind date from hell."

I chuckled at his disgusted facial expression.

"Was it really that bad?" I asked absorbed into his story, leaning in over the counter, my elbow on the surface, my head resting in the palm of my hand.

"I changed my whole work schedule to even go on this blind date, left work early, rushed home to get ready and waited thirty minutes for my date and they never showed."

"What? That's crazy."

"I'm wondering if they took one look at me and left." He said gloomily, lost in thought.

My heart ached for him. I wanted so badly to take him in my arms and give him a warm embrace and comfort him.

 **Don't be a werido Jasper!**

 **You don't even know his name for goodness sake!**

It's very hard to comfort someone when you don't even know your place with them. I scan my brain over thinking of what the right response would be to his statement. I wasn't even sure he meant to confess his doubts.

"Someone turn down a hot guy like you…" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He snapped up out of his thoughts and his eyes landed on mine. My eyes must have been the size of saucers. I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed embarrassed.

He chuckled at my expression.

"I mean…" I trailed off for a loss of words not sure how to save myself.

"Thanks, I don't mind getting compliments, better than rejection. Well, have a nice night." He replied, grabbing his bag of beer and giving my confused form a small smile before heading out.

"You too man!" I called out.

 **You too man?**

 **Really?**

 **Idiot!**

* * *

 **Note:** Loving hearing from you guys, feel free to write a review if you like. **FYI:** The chapters will be on the shorter side. However, hopefully still intriguing. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** I'm not sure how often I will update this story it can be as little as once a week or as much as three times a week, it depends on how much time I have as well as inspiration. I will try to aim at updating twice a week but life is unpredictable so well see.

* * *

Jacob often haunted my thoughts late at night, while I lay in bed, the bed I shared with him many times in the past. In fact, I spent more time with Jacob in my room than any other place.

It was where we talked about our days and life stress. It was where we cuddled enjoying each other's warm embrace. It was where we were intimate with each other. It was where I accused him of being disloyal to me, many times. It was where we fought and where we made up. It was where I took care of him when he was sick. My bed held so many memories, both good and bad.

I let out a tired sigh, turning on my side, looking at the empty spot next time me. The spot he used to occupy.

I tear ran down my cheek as the memories came rushing back to me of the last time we were together.

* * *

"Jacob, are you okay?" I asked concerned, noticing his eyes were fading open and close as if he was going to pass out on me.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay." He mumbled over and over through closed eyes as if he was about to drift to sleep.

But I knew better. Jacob had type one diabetes and every once in a while he would have low blood sugar and freak me the fuck out. This time was worst then the last time. He usually came around after a snack but this time he was taking way longer than I would like for him to come around.

"Shit, I don't know what to do, what should I do, should I call 911?" I asked worried even though I knew I wasn't likely to get a clear response from him.

He was sweating like crazy, his arms moving a bit due to his nerves he had no control over. Even in that moment, when I held him in my embrace, putting a wet cloth on his forehead to cool him down and letting tears fall down my face in fear, I never dreamed I would lose him and lose him the way I did.

I never thought when I hugged him goodbye and told him I loved him it would be the last time. If I did maybe I would have held on to him longer, tighter, put more emotion into my "I love you."

* * *

In fact, I felt like we were closer after that last experience, that we were bonded on another level, I mean, Jesus Christ, I even supported him walking side by side holding his arm around my neck to the bathroom and held his weak form up when he needed to take a piss. I was practically his fucking wife and then to find out he had a wife… talk about a low blow.

How do you take the news that someone who was supposed to be your one and only wasn't, that there was some bitch out there with a higher title than you claiming ownership over your man? I wanted to yell and scream at her and tell her I was his main one, that he was mine not hers and then I realized I would be standing up for a cheater, a loser, a heart breaker and I realized she was the one truly fucked. She was legally bound to the jerk. I could leave easily… well in a sense.

I was over him, I was, it was just what he did, it was a hard pill to swallow. As fucked up as it was I felt comfortable around Jacob, it was hard to let that go.

* * *

I even found myself talking about Jacob with Emmett many times and worst comparing him to Jacob. Frustrated when it didn't feel the same with Emmett the way it felt with Jacob. I caught myself telling Emmett about how I used to kiss Jacob on his cheek over and over again, making him smile brightly which in turn made me smile. Those were my favorite kisses I shared with Jacob because they were real, his emotions were real in that moment and I could feel it.

I tried kissing Emmett in such a way hoping to get the same feeling but it felt wrong, it was all wrong, his cheek didn't feel the same, his smile wasn't the same, and it didn't make me smile or feel joy. Instead it did the opposite. It made me feel empty, like something was missing. I felt numb.

I haven't felt happiness in such a long time even with Jacob I was never really happy. He hurt and frustrated me more than made me laugh or smile. You think with such a shitty relationship mainly based on sex and heartbreak it would be easier to leave and move on but it wasn't. I spent so much pain and stress in our relationship hoping it would get better. I didn't want it to be for nothing, and in the end it was… it was all for nothing. That hurt, knowing all the pain and suffering I went through was for nothing!

All I learned from my shitty experience was that I was lonely and wanted companionship and that apparently I had a sign on my forehead that said **USE ME, TREAT ME LIKE SHIT.**

* * *

That's what I found appealing about this mysterious customer. It wasn't that I found him attractive though lord knows I did. It was that he made me smile. I had seen many attractive people before but none that could make me feel in such a way that he did with just a glance and a smile.

I yearned to **FEEL** again.

* * *

I walked through the front doors of my work place, placing my hat over my head, going over to my register about to sign in when my boss signaled me to follow him.

"Whitlock, I need to talk to you real quick before you sign in." He said opening up the back door waiting for me to catch up to him.

 **Fuck!**

I gulped nervously. I hated when my boss pulled me to the side to talk. His talks were never a good thing. It was always something negative or some extra work he wanted to give me. As if I didn't have enough to do at my job. The story of my life, getting used and abused.

I walked to the back office and took a seat as I waited for him to start speaking.

"Jasper, you failed the Mystery Shopper this month." My boss said disappointed.

 **Are you fucking kidding me?!**

"Are you serious?" I said in shock, as he handed me the paper with the grading scale, showing me the 65% I got.

"Now Jasper I can't stress enough how important it is that you pass the Mystery Shopper every time, a 100 is ideal but an 85 is acceptable anything lower than that is not tolerated here. " He stated giving me a cheesy ass smile I wanted to punch.

 **This is Bullshit!**

"Remember we all get a raise increase for the month if you get a 100%. You would like a raise wouldn't you Jasper, I mean who wouldn't right?" My boss said sounding like a total douchebag.

 **I give my all every fucking time; I'm so over this shit!**

 **I'm too old for this teen age shit!**

 **I can't wait to leave this place.**

"I try my best, that's all I can do." I stated honestly feeling offended, my best wasn't good enough.

"I know Jasper, you're a good worker, let's just try to do better next time." He replied giving my shoulder a light pat as if to comfort or motivate me. It did neither.

 **Im so sick of never being good enough!**

"I got to go sign in; it looks like they need me upfront." I said glancing at the line that was forming from afar.

"Right, right, go get em Jasper!" My boss said enthusiastically as if to cheer me on before turning around and starting on some paperwork.

I was so upset, I gave my work place my all every time I walked through the doors and I was underappreciated and underpaid. I felt my eyes water up. I refused to let my boss or anyone at work to see me cry. I fought back my tears and took a few deep breaths before heading to my register.

 **God please let this day go smoothly.**

 **I don't think can handle much more.**

"Hello, how is your day going?" I asked, trying to act like I gave a shit, as I scanned the customer's groceries.

"Good, yours?" They replied warmly.

 **I'M IN HELL!**

"Fine."


	4. Chapter 4

**Note:** This chp takes place the same day as last chp just later in the day. It's a happy chp, promise.

* * *

One by one I took customers. My mind was elsewhere; my thoughts and my soul were elsewhere as I checked people out. I was mentally drained. I couldn't even force a smile. I was numb inside, my eyes blank, my mouth closed in a form of a straight line. My expression was blank and my performance robotic as I rang people up.

* * *

"Next!" I called out without looking up from my register.

"Hey." I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up only to be staring into his beautiful green eyes.

He frowned sensing something was off.

"Hi." I replied trying my best to give him a smile but failed miserably.

He raised an eyebrow at me questioningly causing his forehead to crinkle a bit. He looked at me uneasily, not sure as to what to say or do. I didn't say anything and he didn't either.

We just stared at each other. It was as if he was trying to read my mind and figure out what was wrong. I watched as he ran a nervous hand through his locks before breaking eye contact and putting his beer down on the counter.

"You okay?" He finally asked looking up at me again.

I let out a breath trying to release some stress I had bottled up.

"It's just, uh; I found out today I failed the Mystery shop this month, it kind of hit me hard." I confessed, looking down as I bagged his beer.

"I'm surprised, you're always great with me."

I lit up at his comment. My eyes met his green ones again excitedly. He gave me a small smile noticing my mood shift.

"Really?" I replied encouraging him to go on, feeling my old self start to come out from the dark. It felt great to hear good feedback especially from someone special to me…like him.

 **You don't even know him Jasper!**

 **I don't care, I like him!**

 **Yes, but does he like you?**

 **I want to believe he does.**

 **Believing and knowing are two different things.**

 **Oh, shut up!**

I argued with my inner self. I shook the thoughts from my head as he continued.

"Yeah man, your great. Don't let them beat you down." He said whole heartedly, making me blush.

I smiled brightly as I handed him his bag.

"Uh, thanks! You can call me Jazz by the way. My names Jasper but I go by Jazz for short." I babbled on excitedly.

He was quiet for a moment taking in all I had just said before giving me a nod followed by a smile.

"Ok then, have a good night Jazz!" He responded as he walked out the door.

I melted as my name left his lips. He said it with such ease and grace.

He could say my name all day and I would never tire of it.

"You too!" I shouted back before the door closed behind him.

My eyes remained on the doors where he had exited in a dreamlike state with a lazy smile on my face.

"Jasper, Jasper, wake up man, we got customers!" My annoying coworker announced breaking my trance but nothing could break my uplifted mood.

"Hi, sorry about that, how are you today?" I asked as I greeted the new customer.

"I'm doing fine, yourself?"

"I'm good." I stated, thinking back to him and his kind words.


	5. Chapter 5

I couldn't sleep much last night, too high on adrenaline. I kept tossing and turning. I was eager to start the work day for a change. I was always happy to see him because he was the best part of my work day but it was different now, before he was just a sweet distraction from work and now I was excited for the possibilities with him. Now I actually thought there really could be something between us, that maybe he really did like me as well.

I couldn't wait to see him again. I felt like we were finally going somewhere, small steps but steps forward.

* * *

I fidgeted nervously as the clock struck 9p.m. Soon he would walk through the doors and greet me with his bright smile. Soon we could pick up where we left off.

I tapped my fingers on the counter top, eyed the entry doors only breaking contact to glance down at my wrist watch every so often. My breath held in my throat every time the door opened and closed, hoping it was him, only to be disappointed. 9 o'clock came and went then 9:30 / 10. It wasn't till 10:45 rolled up and it was time for me to close out my register that I realized he wasn't coming. I felt awful, like a piece of me was missing.

It went on like this for a week straight. Every day I waited, hoping it would end with better results but it never did.

 **He's not coming.**

 **Maybe he is never coming.**

 **What if I never get to see him again?**

 **I don't even know his name.**

* * *

Then suddenly after a week of despair, he reappeared out of thin air. My eyes locked on him as he walked into the store.

He had yet to notice me. I took this to my advantage and observed him. He was in his casual wear today, sporting blue jeans with a plain white t-shirt. He looked good in any form.

My eyes followed him as he went to the fridgerated area to grab his usual beer with his manly hands. I continued taking customers as I waited impatiently for him to reach my register.

I tried to play it cool as he came to my counter but my wide smile failed me.

"Hey Jazz." He said casually giving me a small smile.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while." I announced.

 **Could you be any more obvious?!**

 **Why don't you just confess you like him while you're at it?!**

He looked at me amused, arching a questioning eyebrow, as I blushed slightly.

"Did you miss me?" He teased.

 **YES!**

 **Badly!**

I blushed brightly this time and stuttered like a fool.

"I, I , I…" I repeated at a loss for words.

He chuckled at this, "Relax Jazz, I'm just messing with you."

"I'm sorry; I never know when a customer is being serious or joking. We get so many personalities here." I confessed, feeling a little uneasy.

 **Why does he have to toy with my emotions like that?**

 **Perhaps he doesn't know how I feel?**

 **Maybe I'm not as readable as I once thought.**

He nodded in understanding.

"I had a week vacation, I just got back." He announced.

"Oh, nice, did you have fun?" I asked a little envious.

He smiled brightly as if remembering back to his off time. I frowned thinking of the misery I had been in the last week without seeing him and here he was smiling brightly as if time apart from me didn't affect him at all.

 **Maybe he doesn't feel the same Jasper.**

 **Maybe it is all in your head.**

 **And here I thought we had something.**

"Yeah, it was nice. I went to the beach. It's great for unwinding. I highly recommend it." He said grabbing his bag.

Our eyes met for the first real time of the night. I could stare in his green orbs all day and never get bored. I wonder if it was the same for him. I waited intrigue for the next words to leave his mouth, curious what he would say next. My eyes slowly moved down to his lips as he spoke.

"Well, see you around Jazz."

"See you, Stranger." I replied.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me with a playful look on his face.

"Stranger?" I'm gone a week and it's like that now?"

I shrugged, "Well, I don't know what else to call you." I confessed.

"Edward."

"What?"

"The name is Edward." He stated.

"Ok, bye Edward." I say happily.

"Bye Jazz."


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was shining bright with thick white clouds scattered around the afternoon sky. My feet sunk in the warm sand as I made my way down to find the perfect spot to set up my towel and beach umbrella.

Once settled in I discarded my shirt, leaving me in just my swim trunks and headed towards the blue water. I gasped as the waves splashed against my feet and lower legs. The water was a bit on the cooler side which was a nice contrast from the hot sun beating down on my skin.

Once I had my fill of the water, my wet form return to my towel and laid down taking full advantage of the sun's warmth. I watched under my shaded umbrella as the waves came crashing down time and time again, listening to the seagull fly high above and the sound of the waves. It was quite a tranquil place.

I watched in the distance as a couple played in the water. I smiled at the scene. However my smile soon turned into a frown realizing I was indeed alone.

My heart yearned for that.

I watched as the man playfully grabbed his woman's waist and lifted her partially out of the water, into the air. She squealed in joy causing him to smile and bring her close into his body, holding her tightly as they shared a kiss.

I looked away wanting to give them some privacy.

I thought of Edward and smiled. I would have to thank him, if it wasn't for him I would have never thought to go to the beach. It's been so long since I had last come. Years.

It truly was a peacefully place. It was great for clearly your head and relaxation.

I closed my eyes letting the sun swallow me whole in its rays. As I shut my eyes I was met with beautiful green glowing eyes and a sexy pearly white smile.

It was as if I could feel his eyes beating down on me making me warm all over.

I thought back to the couple in the water. Though, this time instead of it being the man and woman from earlier, it was me and Edward in the ocean enjoying each other's company. Edward was the one looking at me with such desire and love in his eyes. He was the one making my giddy, dear I say, in which made him smile brightly at me and pull me closer to him with his strong hands. My bare chest smashed against his bare chest. My arms going around his neck endearingly as he leaned in and our lips met in a lip lock.

I opened my eyes to be met with the bright sun.

"Fuck." I squinted grabbing my glasses to block the intense glares.

 **When did the sun get so damn bright?!**

 **God, it's fucking hot out here!**

 **Why the hell am I so sweaty?!**

 **How long was I out for?**

"I think I had enough sun for a year." I grumbled to myself, going to the water to cool my heated skin.

 **I'm over this.**

 **I'm thirsty!**

 **I'm starving!**

 **I'm ready for some cool a/c, a good meal and movie from comfort of my couch.**

Once I had my fill of the beach a packed my stuff and headed to my car.

"OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!"

 **HOT SAND! HOT SAND!**

I tip toed my way to the parking lot.

As soon as I got in my car I cranked up the air and sighed in relief.

 **What is it about the beach?**

 **It's great when you first come, the feels and the scenery.**

 **Then, it's like you overstayed your welcome and you're hot and tired, dying of thirst and starving.**

 **It's like a love/hate relationship.**


	7. Chapter 7

I studied Edward's every move as he walked into the store like usual. He was definitely a sight for sore eyes, breathtaking.

My eyes were glued to his form as I stocked items on a nearby shelf. I used the fact that he had yet to see me to my advantage as I observed his every action.

He flicked his tongue out of his mouth to moisten his dry lips and his scrubs pressed tightly against his chest, showing off his toned form as he leaned down to grab his beer.

I jump in surprise as I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to come face to face with a customer.

"Excuse me, can you help me?" They asked, completely unaware of my little stalking session.

I turned back to where Edward was to find he was already with beer in hand, heading to the register to check out.

I panicked not wanting to miss my chance to talk to him. I quickly led the customer to the product they were looking for and made a bee line to the front.

"Next person in line." My coworker called out to Edward as she had just finished with the last customer.

I rushed over, trying not to look to obvious and gave her a tap on the shoulder.

"I got this one April; you can take your break now if you like." I stated as I took her spot on the register.

Luckily she didn't fight me, she just shrug and went on her way. With my coworker gone I turned my attention to the god before me.

Edward's tired eyes turned warm and attentive as they landed on me. He smiled sincerely causing me to melt inside.

I didn't know how much willpower I had left. It had been so long since I had last been touched, looked at, talked to in intimate way. It was killing me. I was horny as fuck both physically and emotionally and Edward was testing my self-control and he had no idea.

 **I need to get laid.**

 **God, I want his lips on mine, his hands exploring my body and mine exploring his.**

 **I want it soo bad I can almost taste it, feel it.**

 **I wonder if he feels the same.**

"Hey Jazz."

 **Fuck, say my name again, please.**

"Hello Edward. How are you doing today?"

"It's been a long day. I'm ready to get out of my work clothes and relax." He confessed.

 **Oh fuck, why did he have to say that?**

 **Now I can't help but think of his sexy form naked.**

 **Do you know your torturing me Edward?!**

 **Do you like teasing me?**

"Yeah, I know the feeling." I replied, trying to ignore the fact that I'm all hot and bothered.

 **Thank god, I have this countertop to hide the excitement happening in my pants.**

 **DOWN BOY, DOWN!**

Edward met my gaze; it got quiet for a moment. The silence wasn't awkward at all. In fact, it felt very natural between us.

 **I LOVE WHEN HE EYE FUCKS ME.**

 **He can eye fuck me anytime he wants.**

 **This is the most intimacy I have had in god knows how long.**

He wrinkled up his forehead as if in deep thought. I watched intrigued.

 **What is he thinking?**

"So listen, I don't normally do this…" He pauses avoiding my eyes, looking off to the side.

 **I'm listening.**

 **I love when you talk to me, please don't stop.**

I watched him intently as he runs a hand through his hair. He finally meets my gaze again as he continues to talk. "But you seem like a cool, laid back type of guy…"

 **Is he nervous?**

 **Holly shit, he looks nervous!**

 **He is so hot.**

He scans my facial expression over as if curious what I'm thinking but I give nothing away. My face is blank but I'm freaking out deep inside.

"…So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out after work?"

 **FUCK YEAH!**

I took a moment to calm my heart rate down before replying.

"Yeah, I mean, I feel the same way about you, being cool you know." I rambled off.

He relaxes at my response and lets out a sigh of relief.

"Well that's good to know, I was afraid I would come off like a weirdo for even suggesting such a thing to a cashier." He claimed with a snicker.

I joined in chuckling a little myself. It seemed like the nervous tension that was built up the past weeks was final gone. It felt good to know Edward felt we had a connection as well on some level. We were getting somewhere.

 **Maybe it's not just me after all?**

"So, what time do you get off of work?" He asked as I bagged his beer.

"Umm, in two hours." I announced before handing his beer over.

Edward reached to grab the bag; his hand accidently touched mine as he took the beer. I gasped as I felt his warm hand touch mine. His eyes immediately met mine on contact.

 **Fuck me.**

"Sorry about that." He said, holding the bag by his side.

"No problem." I replied giving a shrug like it was nothing and had no effect on me.

I was still in a dream state when Edward wrote down his cell number for me. The last thing I remembered was promising to contact him and him giving me a small smile and a wave.

 **What the fuck just happened?!**

 **Did Edward just ask me out?  
**


	8. Chapter 8

After finishing my shift, my shaky fingers started to punch the keys in my phone. I was nervous just to text Edward. I mean this was my crush for over a month after all.

 **Me:** _Hey, its Jasper aka Jazz. I just got off work. Where would you like to meet?_

 **Edward:** _There is a bar by the beach, The Wave, have you heard of it?_

 **Me:** _Yeah, I heard of the place. Okay, I'll meet you there in about a half an hour._

 **Edward:** _Cool, see you then._

* * *

I made my way through the crowded bar, pushing through the herd, examining the bodies around me trying to find that one familiar face.

 **Jesus, who would have thought it would be this jam packed at this hour?**

 **Maybe meeting at a bar wasn't the best idea.**

 **It was his idea though.**

 **Oh shit, maybe this is just like a friend's thing to him?**

 **Maybe I misread his intentions for us?**

 **God, I feel so stupid right now.**

I was contemplating leaving when I caught sight of Edward at the bar with a beer in his hands. His back was to me; his attention was on the t.v. showing the latest sports game results. He looked out of place; he fingers tapped his beer bottle nervously as he bounced one leg on the ground.

 **Maybe he is just as equally out of his comfort zone with this as I am?**

I cautiously made my way over to him as doubts crowded my head. Just as I was approaching, Edward turned and noticed me. He gave me a genuine smile which eased a bit of my worry.

"Hey, glad you could make it." He said over the loud chatter of people and sounds in the background.

"What?!" I asked barely understanding what he just said.

He leaned forward causing me to blush a little as he got close to my ear, "Glad you could come!"

I just nodded in response knowing if I spoke he surely wouldn't hear me.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize it would be this busy! You want to go for a walk?" Edward replied.

"I'm sorry, I can barely hear you!" I all but shout back.

"LET'S GO OUTSIDE!" Edward yelled over the noise and motioned me to follow him.

I for one was glad to leave the chaos; I got enough of that at work.

* * *

Edward and I walked a good block or two in silence, admiring the ocean view. It was pretty dark out, the only light we had was the glow of the moonlight and the small light that shine from the streetlights. I followed Edward out to the sand sitting on a nearby bench.

It was starting to become clear we were both strangers and didn't really know anything about each other.

Edward turned to face me.

"So…do you like your job Jazz?" He asked breaking the silence.

I made a disgusted face making us both share a laugh.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He said to himself as if in thought.

I fidget with my hands nervously as he took a swig of his beer.

 **Well, this is awkward.**

"So what do you want to do for a living, what are your goals jazz?" Edward asked trying to make conversation.

 **Oh god, any question but that.**

 **Kill me, just kill me now!**

"I don't really want to talk about work, if you don't mind." I somewhat snapped.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" Edward asked worried he offended me.

 **Great, now I sound like a dick.**

"No, it's just…" I paused to run a hand through my hair in stress.

 **Great, now I'm copying his stress traits.**

"I still haven't quite figured that out and it just brings up a lot of stress and frustration I'm trying to avoid." I confessed.

"Ah, I understand. We can change the subject. What do you want to talk about?" He asked before taking another sip of his beer.

"What's with all the beer, are you an alcoholic or something?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He nearly choked on his beer from my response.

 **Fuck Jazz, what the hell is wrong with you?!**

 **Are you trying to sabotage this?!**

"I mean you seem to like to drink a lot. I mean you buy lots of beer." I rambled off, trying to save myself.

Is that what you think? He asked amused.

"Shit, I'm sorry Edward. I don't know what to think. I just said the first thing that came to me. I should really think before I speak." I confessed.

Edward shook his head in understanding.

"I actually rarely drink. The beer I get from your store is for my dad. Umm, my uh mom died a few years back and my dad took it rather hard. I guess you could say he has become a borderline alcoholic. My dad never really drank much when I was growing up but since my mom has died he has used beer as a way to kind of cope with the loss."

"Wow, shit Edward, I'm sorry."

 **Could I feel any more like an ass?!**

 **Is it possible?**

"It's ok, you didn't know." He said before taking a drink.

"You know my parents were together for 30 years, together till death…" He trailed off.

"It's so sad." I expressed, realizing the night was not going the way I thought it was.

 **God, what a depressing, fucked up night.**

 **Can we just start over, please?**

"You know I thought the same thing at first but I actually find it a bit endearing that a couple can stay together till death, kind of gives you hope that true love does exist." Edward said with a small smile on his lips.

 **He is so cute and full of surprises.**

 **Who would have thought Edward was a romantic?**

 **Can I kiss you?**

 **How is it you can feel so close to someone, yet feel so far away?**

"Well damn, it's been pretty deep and dark for a first hangout; here I thought things were going to be light and fun." I confessed deep in my thoughts.

"I know, right?" Edward agreed.

"What's wrong with us?" He added, causing us both to snicker.

"The jury is still out on that one." I said giving him a small smile.

We sat there in silence, as our snickers died down and smiles faded.

It became still, dreamlike with the sounds of the waves, the feel of the light breeze hitting our skin and our deep stares as if we were looking into each other's soul.

Before I knew what was happening his soft lips crashed on mine.

 **Fuck me!**

My greedy mouth met his with all the desire I had for him. My hand grabbed the side of his head pulling him closer if possible, he moaned in the kiss as my tongue came out to play. I felt a shiver run down my spine as our tongues connect. His hands held onto my waist, our breathing picked up.

 **Fuck yeah!**

 **I never want to stop kissing him.**

I could feel myself getting excited downstairs. I knew if I didn't stop kissing Edward soon I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. I didn't want to stop; it felt so good, so right. I decided to push my luck; I moved my hands from his head down to his thighs, gripping them. He gasped and parted the kiss, removing my hands.

"Jazz, there is something you should know about me." Edward panted.

"Okay?" I replied, licking my lips, missing the taste of him.

"I never felt this way before, for a guy, ever."

 **RED FLAG, RED FLAG!**

"So you're what, bi?" I asked beginning to panic.

"I, shit, I don't know. I've only dated women. I mean…" He confessed.

"Wait; was that your first kiss with a guy ever?"

Edward nodded in response.

 **Fuck my life!**

* * *

 **Note:** Yeah, it just got a whole lot more awkward. Reviews are greatly appreciated. **:)**


	9. Chapter 9

"Hello, how can I help you?" I said for the hundredth time of the day. I was tired and emotionally drained. It had been two days since my meet up with Edward. Two days since I had seen him or talked to him at all.

Things ended rather quickly that night after Edward's big reveal. Where do you go after talking about death, true love and sexual curiosity? It was obvious sex wasn't on the menu, not that I would put out so early on but I mean come on, Edward was gorgeous and then to hear he had NEVER with a guy…talk about a blow to the ego.

"What can I help you with?" I asked the next customer not bothering to look up.

"Well for starters you could explain why you've been ignoring my text?" I familiar voice said.

I looked up only to be face to face with Edward. His piercing green eyes searched my weak blue ones for answers. The look of hurt graced his beautiful face.

 **Shit, he looks upset; I never met to hurt him.**

 **If he could only understand where I'm coming from, what I've been through.**

"I haven't been ignoring your text Edward, I'm working. I can't have my cell out during work hours. It's against the rules." I said matter of fact, rolling my eyes at the dumb restriction.

"Jazz, I'm not talking about now. I texted you a couple of times, after that night. You never replied." He said sounding a little offended.

 **Why does my heart hurt?**

I tensed up sensing his frustration and seeing a line start to form from behind him.

 **Shit!**

"I've been busy Edward. I'll talk to you later ok? I can't do this right now, I got work to do." I replied gesturing to the now long line of impatient customers.

"Fine." He said letting out a stressed out sigh.

 **Fuck, what did I get myself into?**

I silently cursed at myself as I watched my dream guy leave the store pissed at ME.

 **He has a nice perky ass, I would love to grab it, bite it and fuck it.**

 **Damn it Jasper!**

 **The guy is upset and you're thinking with your damn dick again.**

 **Get your head out of the gutter!**

* * *

Tired, sore and basically brain dead after the day I had I headed out the front doors of the store towards my car. I pulled out my car keys and was about to open my car door when I felt a tap on shoulder causing me to drop my keys in surprise.

"Shit!" I exclaimed before turning around to find Edward standing there.

My eyes widened on sight and panic and confusion took over.

 **What the hell?!  
**

 **What is he still doing here?**

"Edward, shit, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" I stressed as I reached down for my lost keys.

"Sorry Jazz, didn't mean to scare you." He said feeling a little out of place, swaying slowly back and forth between his feet, with his hands in his pockets.

"What are you still doing here Edward?" I asked a bit uncomfortable.

"I just thought we could talk. I didn't want to take a chance of NOT hearing from you again." He voiced, running a hair through his hair.

"Have you been waiting out here this WHOLE time?" I asked a bit scared, gripping my keys a bit harder than necessary.

"Jesus no! I'm not a crazy stalker Jazz, I just took a chance you would be out at this time and I guess I was right." He said, starting to pace a bit in his spot.

"I got to tell you Edward, your vulnerability is really starting to freak me out."

"I know, I KNOW. It's been freaking me out too Jasper. You have to understand, I'm never like this… with women I mean. I'm usually calm and collected and on my game, but with you… I don't know, there is just something about you that just makes me so unglued and not myself." He confessed staring me right in the eyes.

 **Fuck, I just felt a shiver run down my spine.**

"I understand. I know the feeling well." I expressed.

Edward's stiff posture relaxed a bit and he took a step towards me.

 **My heart is beating out of my chest.**

 **How does he have such a hold on me?**

"So what now?" He asked.

The magnetic force between us was strong. I could feel the strong pulls moving us closer.

 **I wonder if he feels it too.**

"Well, what would you do if I was a woman?"

A small smirk spread on Edward's lips as his confidence started coming back again. I gulped as he took another step closer to me, forcing my back smashed up against my car.

"If you were a woman, I would move in slowly, teasingly…" He stepped forward causing our chest to touch.

"…I would grip your waist, pulling your body closer to mine…" I gasp as he put his words into action.

"… and I would give you one hell of a kiss." He said right as his lips met mine in a steamy kiss.

I dropped my keys again and wrapped my arms around his neck, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on mine. My hands moved down his back pressing our chest closer together if possible, before letting my hands give his ass a light squeeze. Edward groaned in response.

 **He is sexy as fuck.**

"We should stop." Edward breathed against my lips as he pulled back from my touch.

"Yeah, I know." I panted.

"It's just, you're so fucking hot." I confessed causing Edward to snicker.

"Thanks, you're not bad looking yourself."

"I'll call you." I assured him as I grabbed my keys off the ground yet again, now successfully opening my car door.

"You sure?" He challenged raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah." I said rubbing my lips before entering my car.

Edward gave me a wave before he headed to his own car with a smile on his lips.

I took a moment to look myself over in my rare view mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my lips swollen and my pulps dilated.

 **I swear he is going to be the death of me.**


	10. Chapter 10

As Promised I called Edward. It was my day off and luckily enough he also had the day off, so we made plans to hang out.

Strangely enough, there was no kissing or touching, just two guys hanging out like friends, except for the fact we were both strongly attracted to each other. It felt very calm and natural for us to just be around each other. There was no awkwardness between us. It just felt right.

We were sitting comfortably on my sofa in the living room watching a movie, keeping a respectable distance from each other. Somehow the subject of past relationships came up. Maybe it was because it related to the topic of the movie or maybe Edward was just curious, either way, it definitely changed the vibe of our hangout.

It started out as a very vanilla friendly hangout and ended up a deeper, more meaningful day of confessions of the heart.

* * *

"I never really had a deep connection with her. I liked her but it just felt like something was missing. She felt it too and I wished her the best and we went our separate ways. How about you? What was your last relationship like?" Edward asked breaking eye contact with the tv screen to give me his full attention.

I swallowed slowly feeling a lump in my throat. I didn't want to think of him, to feel the hurt again but it was coming back to me in a flood of memories. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before responding.

"Umm, well my ex wasn't as good of a person as yours was and my views on the idea of lasting love are quite different than yours. You still believe in true love and that's great Edward and I wish I could too but I know better than to." I stated trying my best to hide my emotions.

"What did your ex do to you?" Edward asked puzzled.

I tensed up a bit not expecting to have to go into such detail but I knew Edward deserved to hear the truth; he was so open with me about his past relationship and his feelings towards me. It would have been incredible insensitive to all of a sudden shut him out and not give him the same honesty and bravery.

"My ex was an awful, selfish person. He lied, manipulated and cheated on me. We were together for over two years, we had ups and downs and I stayed by his side thinking it would be worth it in the end, that I was just overprotected, oversensitive and worried for no reason because I had no hard proof he was cheating. I just felt it. I didn't think that was enough proof at the time. I wasn't willing to give him up on a feeling alone. It drove me nuts, constantly worrying overnight, having trouble sleeping, worried every time he would check his phone, worried every time I didn't get a text back from him in a certain amount of time. Finally, I had the proof I needed." I expressed looking down at my hands.

"How did you find out?" Edward asked, intrigued.

I turned to face him trying hard to fight back the feelings that were creeping up in my heart.

"His wife told me." I said matter of factly.

Edward gasped, taken aback looking like he just got shot. I could see the concern on his face, the hurt in his eyes. I looked away not wanting to cry.

Edward gave my hand a squeeze trying to comfort me.

 **Don't cry, don't fucking cry!**

"What a jerk! He didn't deserve you Jasper. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

I felt my eyes water but I held back tears.

"You know I still have days where I think I'm going to find him at my door waiting for me, begging me for forgiveness and to take him back."

I turned back to Edward sensing his anxiety on the matter.

"Not that I would ever take him back. I just sometimes fantasy about having closure and to have him admit that I existed, we existed, that whatever we had however fucked up, it was something, it was real, that it happened; Instead of feeling like a fucking ghost. It really fucks with your head to have somebody act like you were never even born, like they never even knew you." I struggled to say, fighting back tears.

Edward remained silent letting me continuing venting.

"I just want to feel that I'm good enough for love, that I'm worthy of love." I stressed, as a single tear slide down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and bit down on my trembling lower lip trying to control my emotions.

"Jasper…"

"I don't love him anymore, I don't. And I don't miss him but I do miss some things about us... is that bad?" I asked.

"No." Edward replied, giving my hand another squeeze.

"I miss his presence. I miss having someone by my side. I miss being able to have someone of my own to be able to cuddle, talk with and be intimate with. To have a bond with someone, but I don't miss him." I clarified putting any doubts Edward had to rest.

"I just miss how comfortable it was at times. How even though it felt so wrong and fucked up, it felt so right at times. To be that open with someone and be able to share those moments with someone and having them willingly be there. I miss that." I said deep in thought.

I almost forgot Edward was there until he spoke up.

"I miss that too."

I glance down at his hand still holding mine in comfort and then back at him unsure.

"I want to believe that love can last, I do. But I don't know if I can."

"One step at a time Jasper, after all I just met you." Edward joked trying to ease some of the tension in the room.

I let out a small sincker at his humor, grateful for him easing the mood. A small smile spread across my lips which only grew when Edward leaned forward and placed a kiss on my cheek.

 **Great, now I'm blushing like a damn school girl.**

 **Damn it, why does he have such an effect on me?**

"It's nice to see you smile again. If I would have known all I had to do was kiss you to make you smile, I would have kissed you from the start." Edward teased, making me blush more.

 **Fuck.**

"No one is stopping you now." I challenged.

Edward smirked and moved in pressing his soft lips against mine. My cheeks burned, my heart skipped a beat and my hands shook in nervousness as I moved them to the sides of his cheeks, embracing his face in the kiss. Edward's hands rested lightly on my waist. Our slightly parted lips moved slowly against each other in and out in one sensual movement. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of our lips smacking against each other and the sounds of our heavy breathing in between.


	11. Chapter 11

"Let's, umm, let's go get something to eat." Edward suggested as he parted from my lips, panting.

"Yeah, sure." I replied full of desire, placing my hand behind his head pulling him back to me, capturing his lips in a passionate lock.

Food was the last thing on my mind and I'm pretty sure Edward felt the same way. In fact, I knew Edward felt the same way, judging by the tightness of his pants.

I move my weight over Edward causing him to fall back onto the couch. I hovered over him and lightly pressed my body against his during our make out session. I felt my own growing problem as our tongues played with each other. I let more of my weight lay on Edward, letting him feel my not so little problem.

He gasped, breaking away from my mouth. The look of panic mixed with desire filled his face.

"Jasper, maybe we should stop." He voiced nervously.

I stared into his eyes trying my best to calm him down.

"It's okay, trust me." I said before swooping down and pressing my lips back against his.

I felt his tense form relax under my touch. I slowly began to move my hips and grind against his lower half. He gasped against my lips and whispered my name in a breath. His hands moved to my hips as if to help guide me and his mouth met mine again with excitement.

Moan after moan escaped our mouth as we grinded against each other's clothed body. It wasn't even to get off, but enough to add some added enjoyment to our kissing.

I didn't want to push Edward too far and scare him to early on. I just wanted to show him the goodness that was to come later if all worked out with us, as well as get him used to the thought of us being intimate.

The grind only lasted a few minutes, I didn't want rub burn and I doubted Edward did either.

I broke our fiery kiss and parted from his hips.

"Let's go eat." I said getting off the couch letting Edward calm his uneven breathing.

* * *

 **Note:** Sorry, I know it's really short and you guys have been waiting a while for an update but I rather give you something than nothing at all.

I hate doing this. I always feel like a failure when I lose interest or ideas for a story but… I have done both with this one. I only really had interest and ideas in the start of them meeting but now that they are together, it's like ok, now what? I've been distracted with a Derek/Stiles story I having been doing lately (Control Me) and life as well always gets in the way of time and inspiration. Anyone have any ideas for future chps? Send a review if you do. Thanks for your support.


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